Okay so Day 3..alcohol free.
Last night I went out to social function. It was on a flotilla ...and it was a floating bar. I knew weeks ago that I didn't want to drink on this night out so I told my boyfriend that I would drive a few days before to help me not back out mentally. Then, when an email came out prior to the event saying that the host had booked everyone some alcohol on arrival, I emailed back and said that I didn't want one. That took some doing...I had the thoughts of..'maybe I could have just one? What will people think of me if I'm the only one not drinking? It's a shame to go there and not enjoy a drink' but then I remembered that I had been saying to myself for weeks that I did not want to drink at this event, and I had been visualising myself sober on the evening. I had a word with myself and inside I felt like I was going to let myself down if I caved in and had a drink. So I typed out the response saying 'not for me thanks!' and whilst my inner addict voice (I call her Danielle...long story..she was a girl at school and not a pleasant one) was saying 'hold on! don't press send! i haven't finished trying to convince you yet!' I thought DO IT NOW and pressed the send button. Also felt pleased with myself after sending it. Screw you Danielle.
Fast forward to last night. I felt a bit nervous before we left as I didn't know many of the people going to the function. This would have been the point previously where I would have had a snifter before leaving the house, just to 'calm my nerves'. Instead I had a ginger beer (thanks Mrs D!) and got ready.
On arrival there was a throng in the bar at the port. Even though the boat was due to leave in a few minutes people were buying rounds and quaffing as many drinks as they could before getting on the boat. A taxi arrived with some more revellers and one of them lamented how disappointed he was to not have arrived in time to get a beer. They had booked the taxi early but it had not arrived on time, and he had been looking forward to a beer for the whole journey. I know that feeling, so glad it wasn't me last night. The boat driver pointed out to people that they could get drinks on the flotilla so if they got on the boat then they could get a drink sooner.
We got on the first boat..the ride to the flotilla was fun, it was a high powered speed boat and a lovely evening with the sun setting on the water.
On arrival we were handed stemless glasses of fruity cocktail. I gave one to my boyfriend and asked the barman for a tonic water. He put a large slice of red grapefruit in it and it was a good quality tonic so I have to say, it was delicious! Will definitely be making that drink at home in the future!
We made small talk and waited for the food to arrive. I had been worried prior to the event that I would be feeling shy and that my conversational skills might be stunted due to me not drinking, but I noticed fairly early on that I was managing to make conversation without feeling awkward. Phew!
That probably got something to do with the company being pleasant and friendly as well. They were a nice bunch.
We sat on a table and ate our food, for once I could actually appreciate it and even had a bit of desert. Yummy tiny raspberry cheesecakes and little French fruit tarts. In my drinking days I never would eat much on night out (no room for food, just wine!) , and I certainly wouldn't have had a desert. I was so sugared up on the alcohol I told myself I didn't like deserts. I think I might have been misguided there and my sober self is going to quite like them!
We got talking to a couple..and this I am amazed at this, but the guy sitting opposite me turned out to work at a centre treating addictions - to drinking, smoking, gambling, sex...you name it. Without giving too much away about my current situation as I don't feel ready yet, we had some really interesting conversations about addiction. Having devoured all the literature that I have done over the last few weeks I was in good stead. I was intrigued how the universe had chosen to sit me opposite someone who worked in the field that I am learning so much about. I think I will take it as a sign!
The other thing I found was that I noticed various things that I wouldn't have normally. Like people telling you things they probably shouldn't, and repeating themselves. I've been there.
The best part of the night though was catching the powerboat back again. I sat at the front on the side and hung on as we powered through the water at top speed - just exhilarating and a wonderful experience that I wouldn't have remembered of enjoyed anywhere near as much if I had had sunk myself in cocktails and wine. In fact I probably would have fallen over the side.
Driving home was everything everyone said it would be. It was a great feeling to know I would wake up the next morning with a clear head and a clear conscience.
I went to bed with a camomile tea rather than passing out then waking up at 3am with a mouth alike the Gobi desert and feeling like a failure again.
A lot of the revellers have complained of bad hangovers today. I also had some challenging moments with an an ex who unfortunately I still have deal with.. I felt very wound up and thought that normally in that situation I would have wanted wine that night, but I shut down that thought pretty quickly. I thought that the bell-end wasn't going to drive me to drink.
One other thing, I've been very teary today and have a got a bit of a head ache. Possible detoxing?
I've just finished a lovely glass of red grapefruit tonic...I reached the end and a massive piece of grapefruit flopped down the glass and into my eye. First hazard of being sober...random fruit infusion incident. I've also eaten a hugely calorific chocolate pudding. It was a 5km run on a plate. Totally worth it!
Hope everyone else has had a good weekend. Here's to another sober day tomorrow.
Last night I went out to social function. It was on a flotilla ...and it was a floating bar. I knew weeks ago that I didn't want to drink on this night out so I told my boyfriend that I would drive a few days before to help me not back out mentally. Then, when an email came out prior to the event saying that the host had booked everyone some alcohol on arrival, I emailed back and said that I didn't want one. That took some doing...I had the thoughts of..'maybe I could have just one? What will people think of me if I'm the only one not drinking? It's a shame to go there and not enjoy a drink' but then I remembered that I had been saying to myself for weeks that I did not want to drink at this event, and I had been visualising myself sober on the evening. I had a word with myself and inside I felt like I was going to let myself down if I caved in and had a drink. So I typed out the response saying 'not for me thanks!' and whilst my inner addict voice (I call her Danielle...long story..she was a girl at school and not a pleasant one) was saying 'hold on! don't press send! i haven't finished trying to convince you yet!' I thought DO IT NOW and pressed the send button. Also felt pleased with myself after sending it. Screw you Danielle.
Fast forward to last night. I felt a bit nervous before we left as I didn't know many of the people going to the function. This would have been the point previously where I would have had a snifter before leaving the house, just to 'calm my nerves'. Instead I had a ginger beer (thanks Mrs D!) and got ready.
On arrival there was a throng in the bar at the port. Even though the boat was due to leave in a few minutes people were buying rounds and quaffing as many drinks as they could before getting on the boat. A taxi arrived with some more revellers and one of them lamented how disappointed he was to not have arrived in time to get a beer. They had booked the taxi early but it had not arrived on time, and he had been looking forward to a beer for the whole journey. I know that feeling, so glad it wasn't me last night. The boat driver pointed out to people that they could get drinks on the flotilla so if they got on the boat then they could get a drink sooner.
We got on the first boat..the ride to the flotilla was fun, it was a high powered speed boat and a lovely evening with the sun setting on the water.
On arrival we were handed stemless glasses of fruity cocktail. I gave one to my boyfriend and asked the barman for a tonic water. He put a large slice of red grapefruit in it and it was a good quality tonic so I have to say, it was delicious! Will definitely be making that drink at home in the future!
We made small talk and waited for the food to arrive. I had been worried prior to the event that I would be feeling shy and that my conversational skills might be stunted due to me not drinking, but I noticed fairly early on that I was managing to make conversation without feeling awkward. Phew!
That probably got something to do with the company being pleasant and friendly as well. They were a nice bunch.
We sat on a table and ate our food, for once I could actually appreciate it and even had a bit of desert. Yummy tiny raspberry cheesecakes and little French fruit tarts. In my drinking days I never would eat much on night out (no room for food, just wine!) , and I certainly wouldn't have had a desert. I was so sugared up on the alcohol I told myself I didn't like deserts. I think I might have been misguided there and my sober self is going to quite like them!
We got talking to a couple..and this I am amazed at this, but the guy sitting opposite me turned out to work at a centre treating addictions - to drinking, smoking, gambling, sex...you name it. Without giving too much away about my current situation as I don't feel ready yet, we had some really interesting conversations about addiction. Having devoured all the literature that I have done over the last few weeks I was in good stead. I was intrigued how the universe had chosen to sit me opposite someone who worked in the field that I am learning so much about. I think I will take it as a sign!
The other thing I found was that I noticed various things that I wouldn't have normally. Like people telling you things they probably shouldn't, and repeating themselves. I've been there.
The best part of the night though was catching the powerboat back again. I sat at the front on the side and hung on as we powered through the water at top speed - just exhilarating and a wonderful experience that I wouldn't have remembered of enjoyed anywhere near as much if I had had sunk myself in cocktails and wine. In fact I probably would have fallen over the side.
Driving home was everything everyone said it would be. It was a great feeling to know I would wake up the next morning with a clear head and a clear conscience.
I went to bed with a camomile tea rather than passing out then waking up at 3am with a mouth alike the Gobi desert and feeling like a failure again.
A lot of the revellers have complained of bad hangovers today. I also had some challenging moments with an an ex who unfortunately I still have deal with.. I felt very wound up and thought that normally in that situation I would have wanted wine that night, but I shut down that thought pretty quickly. I thought that the bell-end wasn't going to drive me to drink.
One other thing, I've been very teary today and have a got a bit of a head ache. Possible detoxing?
I've just finished a lovely glass of red grapefruit tonic...I reached the end and a massive piece of grapefruit flopped down the glass and into my eye. First hazard of being sober...random fruit infusion incident. I've also eaten a hugely calorific chocolate pudding. It was a 5km run on a plate. Totally worth it!
Hope everyone else has had a good weekend. Here's to another sober day tomorrow.
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